


That Jazz

by Lindira



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Gen, Humor, Kink Meme, Musicals, Singing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-09
Updated: 2013-01-10
Packaged: 2017-11-24 06:29:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/631455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lindira/pseuds/Lindira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard is obsessed with musicals. Garrus tries to make sense of her odd behavior while suffering through near-constant song and dance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a kmeme prompt, asking for a Shepard who is in love with 20th Century musicals. Characters, setting, and song lyrics aren't mine. Pairing for this story is planned to be Kaidan/F!Shep with Bro!Garrus, though that may change. Hope you enjoy, and please let me know what you think in the comments!
> 
> Also, this is not my canon Shepard, and should not be confused with the one from my other ME story. :)

Shepard was… different after coming back from the dead, Garrus noticed. Not really in a bad way. And she was always a bit quirky, even for a human – humming under her breath during battle, twirling in the corridors of the Normandy when it was late and she didn't think anyone was watching. But she used to keep this sort of thing pretty well hidden. Now it seemed like a floodgate had opened. A floodgate of song and very, very bad dancing.

He noticed the change on his first mission back with her, on the prison ship Purgatory. As they passed the cells on their way to outprocessing, he heard her whisper, "The six merry murderesses of the Purgatory starship jail in their rendition of," ending with a flourish, "the Cell Block Tango!"

His eyes narrowed. "You say something, Shepard?"

She grinned. "I wasn't talking to you, Garrus," she replied airily.

Garrus glanced over at Jacob, who shrugged.

And then the mercs and mechs poured in as Warden Kuril betrayed them. The three of them ducked to take cover.

"Pop!" Shepard said, shooting a Blue Sun's head right off his shoulders. "Six!" Her next shot hit a retreating merc in the back. "Squish!" She slammed into another with a biotic charge. "Uh-uh!" A FENRIS charged at her as she shot it repeatedly with her shotgun. "Cicero, Lipschitz!"

Garrus frowned. Were these human warcries, perhaps?

Shepard beckoned them forward. "Let's move out."

As they moved onward through the prison, it became increasingly apparent that Shepard wasn't shouting warcries at her enemies. She was singing. At the top of her lungs.

"He had it coming!" she sang, firing a barrage of bullets at the YMIR mech coming their way. "He had it coming! He only had himself to blame!"

_So much for the element of surprise_ … Garrus thought.

It turned out to be a fairly long song, as she'd occasionally burst out with the chorus any time an enemy got close. By the time they reached Warden Kuril, she seemed to be drawing to a close.

She charged into him in a blur of bluish purple. "You dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!" she belted out, each 'bum' punctuating a blast with her shotgun.

"I think he's dead, Shepard," Jacob pointed out.

She shrugged. "So? I'm almost done."

Garrus nudged Jacob with his elbow. "Come on. Let's go find Jack. She'll catch up."

As they turned their backs and left the room, they could still hear Shepard as she stood over the Warden's body. "I betcha you would have done the same!"

o.O.o

Garrus had decided not to mention it. Everyone deserved to have their odd days off, and anyway it was probably some human custom he wasn't aware of. He remembered hearing Crewman Matthews singing in the shower when he passed the men's bathroom some time ago. Maybe it was normal for humans to sing while doing day-to-day activities. Garrus wasn't about to be judgmental, especially not towards his best friend.

However, he started to think it wasn't so normal after their mission to Horizon. The battle on the surface was hard enough, made only more difficult by their tense reunion with Kaidan. Garrus knew that Shepard had been looking forward to seeing Kaidan again, and could only imagine how devastated she must have been when he essentially called her a traitor and a fraud to her face.

Garrus sat with a few of the Cerberus crew in the mess hall, relaxing after the mission. Shepard had been up in her cabin ever since they returned. He was just about to get up to see if she was okay when he heard her voice emerging from the elevator.

"…him sleeping, my body pressed to him," she was singing. He heard her footsteps step out into the corridor and the elevator door slide shut behind her. "And then he started speaking. The name I heard him speak… was Kim."

Kenneth looked up from his bowl of stew. "Is… is that somebody singing?"

Gabby looked around. "That sounds like Shepard!"

"Yes, I know that this was years ago… But when moonlight fills my room, I know…"

Garrus felt like cringing, but he wasn't sure why. This was normal, right?

Shepard popped up from around the corner, dramatically throwing herself against the wall with a fist held close to her chest. "I still… I still believe you will return! I know you will! My heart – against all odds – holds still!"

Kenneth was suppressing a snicker – badly. "Shepard's into… show tunes?"

Gabby grinned. "She's actually pretty good."

Garrus frowned. "What are show tunes?"

"Songs from musical theatre," Gabby explained, laughter in her eyes that somehow didn't make it to her lips.

"Namby pamby crap, if you ask me," Mess Sergeant Gardner piped up from the kitchen. He hadn't even managed a smile.

"Don't let the Commander hear you," Gabby warned. "She'll kick your ass."

Gardner gave a grunt in reply.

"I'll live!" Shepard was coming toward them now, her eyes fixed on the ceiling in a hopeful expression. She had an unopened bottle of brandy in one hand. "Love cannot die! You will return… you will return…" Her voice cut off as she entered the med-bay and the doors closed behind her.

"So…" Garrus began as he continued to watch Shepard through the glass windows. "Why's that funny?"

Kenneth let out the snicker she was holding. "Show tunes!" he managed.

"It's hard to explain, Garrus," Gabby told him. "But it takes a… special kind of person to sing show tunes in public."

_So, the type of song is weird._ Garrus made a mental note. "She's had a bad day," he said, almost apologetically, though he wasn't sure why he was making excuses for his best friend. He watched Shepard as she waved the bottle of brandy in front of Doctor Chakwas and poured them a couple of glasses. Shepard then pulled the older woman to her feet. Karin, for her part, blushed furiously for a few moments before taking a long swig and standing up.

Kenneth got to his feet, abandoning his stew. "That's our cue to get outta here, Gabs."

"What?" Gabby asked, startled. "Why?"

"It's about to turn into a duet. And any good Scotsman knows drinking and singing don't mix," he said with a wink.

Gabby got up. "Unless it's a sea shanty."

"Unless it's a sea shanty," Kenneth agreed as they headed to the elevator.

Later, Garrus found out the hard way that Kenneth was right. He could hardly concentrate on his calibrations as the drunken, off-key singing eventually penetrated the walls.


	2. Chapter 2

Garrus was in the middle of some calculations when he heard a knock at the door. Expecting Shepard, he was surprised when he turned his head and found Thane and Samara standing behind him. He blinked at them. "Hey. Something wrong?"

Thane held his arms comfortably behind his back. "No, nothing is wrong. There is only something we wished to discuss with you."

Intrigued, Garrus turned all the way around. "Oh?"

"You have known Commander Shepard the longest, aside from Mister Moreau and Doctor Chakwas," Samara intoned. "We had… concerns about her behavior."

Garrus grimaced. "Is this about the singing?"

"And the dancing," Thane added, "if that is what one would call such movements."

"I… I think it's just a human thing," Garrus replied, though now he wasn't so sure. He began pacing the small space in the Main Battery. "This can't be about her performance in the field. I mean, she's still getting the job done, right?"

Samara gave a slow nod of her head in assent. "Yes. Our concern is not with her battle prowess. She consistently slays any foe in her path."

"So?"

"So... her behavior within the Normandy is… disruptive," the asari said slowly, as if trying to be as tactful as possible. "It is difficult to concentrate on my meditations while she is so exuberantly singing."

"I told the Commander about a problem I am having with my son," Thane continued with a frown. "She proceeded to twirl about Life Support. She sang something about… the Circle of Life?"

Garrus pressed the palm of his hand against his forehead in exasperation. "I'll talk to her."

The assassin gave a short bow. "You have our thanks." He waited for Samara to exit then followed after her.

Garrus sighed before calling for EDI. "All right. Where's Shepard?"

o.O.o

Shepard was apparently on Deck 4, visiting Grunt. When Garrus exited the elevator, he found Tali and Zaeed already in the corridor, staring at the door to the Port Cargo Hold. A terrible sound like someone strangling a yahg permeated the air. When he reached Tali, she was doubled over with laughter while Zaeed scowled behind them.

"This has been going on all goddamned afternoon," Zaeed grumbled. Garrus could barely hear him over the strangled-yahg sound.

"What the hell _is_ that?" Garrus shouted.

Tali put a hand on the turian's shoulder to support herself as she tried to speak. "It's… it's Grunt…" she gasped. "It's Grunt… singing!"

"What?" But sure enough, Garrus could now make out distinct words to the gruff yowling.

"Do, So, La, Fa, Mi, Do, Re!" the krogan's voice boomed. "So, Do, La, Ti, Do, Re, Do!"

"Good!" he heard Shepard say approvingly.

"Battlemaster," Grunt growled. "How exactly does this help me fight?"

"Don't interrupt, Grunt," Shepard admonished. "Now where was I? …Oh, right!" She picked up the melody. "When you know the notes to sing, you can sing most anything! Together!"

Shepard's singing and Grunt's yowling continued in tandem. Garrus saw a movement out from the corner of his eye, and turned in time to see Zaeed stalking away, muttering something about ear plugs as the Starboard Cargo Hold doors closed behind him.

The Engineering doors opened, and Jack stepped out, heading straight for the Port Cargo. "If they don't stop now, I'm gonna fucking blow this deck out of the sky! It'll be worth getting spaced!"

Garrus grabbed her arm and gave a nervous laugh. "It's okay, Jack. How 'bout you let me handle this?"

Jack glared at him but relented. "Fine, Bird-Brain. But if this happens again…"

He gently nudged her in the direction of Engineering. "I'll take care of it," he assured her as she went back down the stairs.

By now, Tali had managed to compose herself. "You're going to stop her?" she asked, a distinct tinge of laughter – and maybe disappointment? – still in her voice.

Garrus shrugged. "Unless you'd like Jack to blow us all up?"

"Not particularly," Tali replied. "But, Keelah, what's gotten into Shepard lately? She was never like this before."

"Not a clue," he grumbled, and opened the door to Grunt's room.

o.O.o

Shepard had flatly refused to leave when Garrus tried to call her away. In the end, he all but dragged her through Engineering so they could talk in relative privacy by the drive core. When he finally let her go, she crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him, though he could tell the look was mostly for show. Laughter danced behind her eyes.

"Out with it, then," she said, still keeping up the pretense of annoyance. "It better be good. Grunt almost had it!"

"Oh yeah," Garrus replied drily. "He was _this_ close to becoming a virtuoso, Shepard."

She smirked. "He was making progress."

"Your space hamster could sing better."

"Of course he could." Shepard's irritated façade broke and she gave a lopsided grin. "He's Erik, the Angel of Music."

Garrus buried his face in his hands. "Your hamster is what now?" he groaned.

"I'm kidding!" she laughed. "What's this all about, Garrus?"

He lowered his hands and leaned against the console. "Look, Shepard, I'm just gonna come out and ask. What the hell is with the singing?"

Her eyes narrowed. "What's wrong with it?"

"Oh, nothing," he answered. "Only that you've managed to piss off the two most murderous people on the ship."

"You mean Jack and Zaeed?" Shepard shrugged. "That's just because they're joyless, unhappy people. Haters, the both of them."

Garrus chuckled. "And what about Thane and Samara?"

She frowned. "They're mad too?"

"They have… concerns." He sighed. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't have them too. Since you've been back, you've been different. I thought maybe it was just a culture thing, but the human crew members have been giving you funny looks too." He placed a hand on her shoulder and smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring expression. "Hey, it's not that I think it's bad or anything. Just not sure what brought it on."

She returned his smile with one of her own. It was a few moments before she responded. "You know how people say that near-death experiences make you re-examine your priorities?" She waited for him to nod then went on. "Well, I guess the same is true of actually dying. Not that what I was doing before wasn't important. Of course, it was." Her eyes had a far-off look to them, as if looking through him rather than at him. "But at some point, I realized I'd been hiding away this huge part of me."

"The crazy, singing and dancing part," Garrus supplied with a laugh.

She grinned. "Right, that one. And I figured, I'm Commander fucking Shepard. I'm the hero of the Skyllian Blitz. I went toe-to-toe with Saren _and_ Sovereign, and came out the victor. If I want to sing songs from old musicals and dance in the halls of my ship, then you bet your sorry ass that's what I'm gonna do."

He clapped her on the back and grinned back at her. "That sounds more like the Shepard I know."

"I thought you might think so."

"Just one thing?" he asked as they started to walk back towards the elevator.

Shepard raised her eyebrow expectantly.

"Tone it down a little?" He pointed furtively at Kenneth and Gabby, whose eyes had only just darted away from their staring. "You're freaking out the crew."

"I'll try," she promised. They entered the elevator, and her face took on a mischievous look. "Oh, and you're _so_ gonna pay for breaking off my session with Grunt."

He crossed his arms in a nonchalant challenge. "That so?"

She nodded. "Oh, yes. Just you wait, Vakarian," she warned as he stepped off onto Deck 3. "Just you wait."

o.O.o

Shepard made good on her threat a few days later.

"Garrus, you have a minute?"

"Shepard," he greeted, barely turning to greet her. "Can it wait a bit? I'm in the middle of some calibrations."

A slow, wicked smile crept across her face. "I was hoping you'd say that."

Garrus eyed her suspiciously, but turned back to his console.

There was a long pause before it started, such that he almost forgot she was still behind him. "Well, I'm thwarted by a metaphysic puzzle…" she began in a low voice.

He groaned. "Oh, no."

"And I'm sick of grading papers that I know…" she hummed over his left arm.

"You don't grade papers, Shepard."

"And I'm shouting in my sleep, I need a muzzle…"

"Great idea," Garrus sighed, trying to ignore her.

She appeared over his right arm. "All this misery pays no salary, so…"

"Shepard…"

"Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe!" her voice suddenly boomed, and he nearly jumped out of his skin. She was bounding all over the place with delighted abandon, her limbs flailing in all directions. She reminded Garrus of a drugged varren in heat. "Oh, sunny Santa Fe would be nice!"

"Please stop," he pleaded, though he couldn't help laughing in spite of himself.

"Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe!" she sang, spinning around his console.

"Stop, please."

"And leave this to the roaches and mice!"

Garrus bent, banging his forehead gently on the panel in front of him.

Shepard flung herself across his back, stretching her arms in a grand gesture. "Whoa, ohh! Ohh!"

She wouldn't leave until she had sung the song in its entirety. But even after she finally left, Garrus found he couldn't get the chorus out of his head. As he restarted the calibrations, he absently crooned under his breath, "We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe!"


	3. Chapter 3

Shepard did tone down her antics, though just enough to keep the threats of blowing up the Normandy to a minimum. Most of the crew actually started to get used to the occasional outburst of song, only sparing her amused glances before returning to their duties. And Shepard never neglected her own responsibilities, though she still had the annoying habit of providing her own soundtrack to their ground missions.

Garrus was still worried about her reputation, however. While she was right in saying that her name and history carried a great deal of weight, he knew that even the most spotless reputations could still be tarnished. Especially with the war that everyone – at least, everyone on the Normandy – knew was coming, the galaxy depended on her to be the biggest badass they'd ever seen. There was no reason why a badass soldier shouldn't also enjoy singing show tunes, though he doubted the batarians or krogan or other turians would share his opinion.

These were the thoughts that encumbered his mind as he stood in the CIC, Shepard and Mordin skipping past with their arms linked, belting out, "Three little maids who, all unwary, come from a ladies' seminary! Freed from its genius tutelary, three little maids from school! Three little maids… from school!"

However, he knew Shepard had reason to be in a good mood. She'd been in contact with Kaidan over the past few weeks, working through their trust issues. Since they were nearly set to head through the Omega 4 Relay, she and Kaidan agreed to meet at the Citadel Presidium that afternoon.

Garrus had stayed behind to help Matthews synch up the new guns to the Normandy's power supply. After a few hours, he found himself smiling when he heard Shepard's voice coming from the airlock.

"Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime…" Shepard and Kaidan emerged from the airlock doors, walking with their hands interlocked. "Let me lead you from your solitude…"

Garrus rolled his eyes at her, but the smile didn't leave his face. "Your date went well, then?"

She grinned. "You could say that."

"Hey, Garrus," Kaidan greeted sheepishly.

"Kaidan," Garrus replied with a slight bow of his head. "Get her upstairs quick. We have a strict rule around here. No love songs outside her cabin."

Kaidan laughed, ushering Shepard into the elevator. "Good rule. See ya later."

Garrus waved as the elevator doors closed. "Have fun, kids."

o.O.o

That night, Garrus turned over in his bunk, staring at the ceiling for a moment before checking the clock. Seeing how late it was, he groaned. His mind had been racing all night. He wanted to say that it wasn't nerves about the upcoming suicide mission, but he knew better than to lie to himself. It was this way with every big mission since he lost his team on Omega. There was always that sinking feeling that he was forgetting something important.

Deciding that a walk might help clear his mind, he got dressed and quietly stepped out into the corridor. He let himself wander for a while, his feet moving without any clear destination. After circling past the mess hall for the third time, however, he headed for the elevator. Maybe the steady thrum of the drive core would soothe him enough that he could get a few hours of rest.

He stepped off the elevator onto Deck 4, yawning as he turned towards Engineering. The first set of doors opened. Then the second. And he immediately stopped in his tracks.

"I thought there's no use getting… into heavy petting… It only leads to trouble and… seat wetting…"

Garrus's initial reaction was to give an inward groan, much like he did most of the times Shepard's singing caught him by surprise. But something – perhaps a self-preservation instinct – stopped him from venturing further towards the engine room.

"Now all I want to know… is how to go… I've tasted blood and I want more."

It was the addition of another voice that finally made him realize what was going on.

"More, more, more, Shepard…" he heard Kaidan moan.

Garrus was frozen with horror. _Oh, no…_

"I'll put up no resistance," Shepard's breathless voice continued. "I want to stay the distance… I've got an itch to scratch…"

The sound of shifting bodies. "God, yeah…"

"I need assistance!" she gasped. "Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a, touch me! I wanna be dirty!"

Why, oh why, wouldn't his feet move? Garrus knew then that he must've really pissed off the spirits somehow, if they led him to this. At least he couldn't see anything.

"Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me! Creature of the night!"

"I guess this answers that question," a voice whispered behind him, startling him into moving.

Garrus turned to find Jack sitting on the steps behind him. "What question?" he asked, still feeling stunned.

Jack grinned. "Whether Shepard sings when she's fucking."

"I'll oil you up and rub you down!" sang the ragged voice from the engine room.

"I _really_ could've done without the answer," Garrus groaned. "If they're keeping you up, why don't you stop them?"

"And miss the show?" she replied, a tinge of laughter in her quiet voice. "Besides, call me sentimental, but Shepard could use a good lay."

"You're a real sweetheart."

Jack winked then looked him up and down appraisingly. "You gonna stay in that doorway all night, Vakarian? Didn't peg you as the voyeuristic type."

"You need a friendly hand…" An uncharacteristic giggle from Shepard. A wordless shout from Kaidan. "And I need action!"

Garrus felt embarrassed heat rise up his neck. "Just leaving." He shuddered. "Can't get out of here fast enough, in fact."

He all but ran out the doors, leaving Jack on the stairs, who was trying to stifle her laughter. Even as he entered the elevator, the faint melody of Shepard's song still reached him.

"Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me! Creature of the night!"

o.O.o

The following morning, after a restless night, Garrus pulled Tali aside. "You should probably sterilize the engine room."

Tali cocked her head to one side curiously. "Why? I'm always in my suit when I'm down there."

"Just trust me."


	4. Chapter 4

The abduction of the crew and the race to save them left the Normandy almost ghost-like in its silence. Shepard's fury and worry about the missing crew members made the ship seem even quieter than usual; she usually only sang when she was in a good mood. Garrus was a little surprised by how unsettling it was to have a quiet ship again. He had gotten used to the singing, and actually found it a little comforting. A musical Normandy was a secure one.

As soon as they passed through the Omega 4 Relay in a burst of red light, they were thrown into chaos. The upgrades thankfully held fast, and they crashed on the Collector base more or less as planned. Their team moved into the base, fighting and working together like cogs in a clock. When they finally found their missing crew, the relief on Shepard's face was palpable.

They pressed onward, ever onward, through buzzing seeker swarms and more Collectors. And as they stared up at the Human Reaper, an almost reverent horror left them bereft of any words to adequately express such a feeling. When they sent it crashing into the abyss below, Garrus couldn't help feeling a little surprised at their continued survival.

As they set the charges, the Illusive Man appeared. "Shepard, you've done the impossible."

"I still have to destroy the base," she replied absently.

"Not necessarily," he asserted. The lunatic argued with Shepard as she prepared the bomb, trying to convince her to save the Collector technology.

Shepard dismissed the Illusive Man outright. "No matter what technology we might find, it's not worth it."

"Shepard, you died fighting for what you believed. I brought you back so you could keep fighting." He pontificated on and on. "Don't be so quick to discard this facility. Think of the potential!"

"We'll fight and win without it." She turned away from him, signaling Thane to cut off the feed. "I won't let fear compromise who I am." As she finished preparing the charges, she smiled. "I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game," she said in a melodious whisper.

"Shepard?" Thane looked at her curiously.

"Nothing," she told him. "Let's move. We got ten minutes until the reactor overloads and blows this whole station apart."

They heard a loud, mechanical groan behind them. The Human Reaper suddenly burst up from below, and all hell broke loose. First dodging enormous energy blasts from the Reaper, then nearly sliding to their deaths as it broke into pieces and shattered the platforms. As soon as they woke in the rubble, they ran a mad dash – away from seekers, from Collectors, from the ominous voice of Harbinger that chased them. The Normandy rose like a bird before them, Joker coming out and taking up arms to defend them.

Thane and Garrus jumped onto the airlock platform beside Joker, while Shepard trailed behind. As she ran toward them, he heard her shout, "It's time to trust my instincts! Close my eyes… and leap!"

And leap she did. She hung, suspended in the air for several moments, before catching the edge of the platform.

"Really, Shepard?!" Garrus shouted back incredulously, as he ran to help her up. "You're singing _now_?"

He pulled her to her feet. She gave him a grin before closing the hatch and running after Joker into the cockpit.

The Normandy raced back to the Relay, a wall of fire and light in their wake. The ship shuddered as Joker pushed it even faster, until it caught the red tendril of energy from the Relay, shooting them beyond the explosion's reach.

Garrus let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. There was only a moment's pause before Shepard stalked past him toward the briefing room. After a short hesitation, Garrus followed.

Shepard shoved past the fallen debris and called up the Illusive Man's image from the holographic comm system. Electricity crackled in the wires above her. Garrus hung back to watch.

"Shepard," the Illusive Man said in a dangerous tone. "You're making a habit of costing me more than time and money."

He berated her, accusing her of destroying humanity's chance for dominance in the galaxy, of choking under pressure when it mattered most. She watched him with almost bored apathy, his words flowing past her like so much hot air.

"I know what you are, and the price of dealing with you," Shepard replied coolly. "We do things my way from now on. You can fall in line or step aside, but don't get in my way."

The Illusive Man approached her, taking a threatening position, made less threatening by virtue of his being a hologram. "You're sure that's what you want? You're taking a hell of a risk, Shepard!"

"I don't think so." She smirked. "And I've just got one last thing to say to you."

"What's that?" The Illusive Man grunted.

Her smirk turned into a challenging grin as she spread her arms wide and took a deep breath. "So if you care to find me, look to the western sky!" she belted out. "As someone told me lately, 'everyone deserves the chance to fly'!"

Garrus cringed but did not look away. It was worth it to see the stunned and bewildered expression on the Illusive Man's face at this super soldier singing at him at the top of her lungs.

"And if I'm flying solo," Shepard continued, "at least I'm flying free! To those who'd ground me, take a message back from me!"

"What in the…" the Illusive Man muttered, still staring at her with utter confusion.

"Tell them how I am defying gravity! I'm flying high, defying gravity! And soon I'll match them in renown!"

"Shepard, what…"

She pointed right at the Illusive Man's image. "And nobody in all of Oz… no Wizard that there is or was… is ever gonna BRING… ME… DOWN!"

The Illusive Man seemed to be finally coming to his senses. Anger blossomed on his countenance as he took in the words she was singing. "This is a huge mistake, making an enemy out of me."

"BRING ME DOWN!"

"Are you listening to me? I will _ruin_ you!"

"Ahhh!" she sang, her voice nearly straining. The note cut off. "That's what you spent billions bringing back from the dead, you asshole," she spat, and cut off the feed.

Garrus clapped, genuinely impressed. She turned, winking at him as she marched off towards the armory.

He wasn't so worried about her reputation as a badass after that.

 

~end~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! This was one of my first humor pieces, so I'd appreciate any comments/feedback! Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
